First part of Pinky questions can be found here.

***

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. They were in a car and struck in a traffic jam, only few meters away from the left turn they had to take. Pinky, her mother, her father, and their pet dog. Pinky was playing with the dog in the backseat while Nidhi and Arun were busy talking some finance-stuff that a nine year old kid like Pinky could not understand. They were on their way to a birthday party they had to attend in the evening and before that to do some shopping as well. They were struck in the jam from past ten minutes. Nidhi and Arun were growing more and more impatient with every passing second.

Pinky, oblivious of the jam and delay, was playing with the dog and was lost in her own world. Suddenly, a boy appeared out of nowhere and started cleaning the car’s front windscreen. A regular scene in the Indian cities if you drive a car. Pinky’s parents seemed not to notice the boy and continued their conversation. They have seen the scene several times before and the routine had failed to evoke any emotion in them after the first few times.

Pinky saw this happen few times before but never thought about it. She was lost in her own thoughts. Busy looking through windows and counting the two-wheelers or waving her hand at the strangers sometimes.

But this time, Pinky stopped playing with the dog, balancing herself on her toes she leaned forward in between the front seats to see who that boy was. He looked to be of her age with a shirt that exposed most of his bare and oil-stained shoulders and a little bit of his chest. His shirt reminded her of the cloth with which her father cleans the car. The boy was cleaning the windscreen with a yellow colored cloth by sprinkling water from the bottle he carried in his other hand. She noticed that he looked at the dog a couple of  times while he cleaned the glass.

He finished the cleaning and tapped on the window next to the driver’s seat. Arun did not seem to notice the boy in the least. The boy tapped again. Pinky nudged her father and waved her hand in the direction where the boy stood looking through the window. Arun gave a smile to Pinky and returned to the conversation. During this, Nidhi was punching on her mobile and sent a message to her friend that they were struck in a traffic jam from fifteen minutes.

The boy disappeared after few seconds knowing very well that his effort will not earn him a dime this time. Pinky watched the boy as he crossed the road and as he started cleaning a car window on the other side of the road.

Pinky knew that the boy asked money from her father as she noticed few times when her father gave a coin before. But she could not understand why her father did not give money this time.

“Papa, who was that boy? Why did he clean our car window?”

Arun was too busy cursing the traffic jam and never bothered to answer her question though he listened to it.  Nidhi was replying to a message she got from her friend.

Pinky leaned over and repeated the question to get the attention from her parents.

‘He cleans the windows and asks money from people,” Nidhi told while looking into her mobile.

‘Why?’ Pinky asked.

‘Because he wants money,’  Arun answered.

‘Why he wants money? His parents don’t give him money?’

‘They are poor and some of the boys have no parents,’ Arun replied.

‘Why are they poor papa?’ asked Pinky. Children are capable of asking you question after question until they find a satisfying answer. They keep on asking  you so many whys and hows.

‘Be…cause…’ Arun stumbled as he did not know how to answer that question. He never thought about it. Kids often ask few questions which we cannot answer and probably never wanted an answer for ourselves.

‘Be…cause…’ Pinky almost mimicked her father to get an answer.

‘They do not have enough money. So they are poor.’ Nidhi joined the conversation after she put her mobile into handbag.

‘Why they do not have enough money?’ Pinky asked. One more why!

Arun and Nidhi looked at each other and they knew they cannot answer or rather give answers which Pinky could understand.

By this time, vehicles on the road started to move slowly and Arun started the car and joined the rush.

Pinky stopped asking anymore questions and started wondering in her mind why that boy cleaned their window. She realized that her parents were not interested to talk about it.

They took the left turn and unfortunately after few minutes, they were struck in another traffic jam. Arun and Nidhi cursed the roads of India, government of India, people of India, and whatever they thought was responsible for these jams except the irresponsible driving by people.

One more boy jumped near their car and started cleaning. Arun and Nidhi, as usual did not notice the boy or rather acted not to notice. But, they were a little bit worried that Pinky would start peppering questions again.

But Pinky, jumped to the other end of the backseat behind the driver’s seat, pulled down the window and waved with her hand and called the boy to come. The boy stopped cleaning in the middle and and came near Pinky who held her head out of the window balancing herself on her knees on the backseat with her legs stretched flat on the seat.

After wiping the sweat off from his face and rubbing his hands on his trousers, he stretched his right hand expecting money from Pinky.

But Pinky wanted to talk to him. Nidhi and Arun did not want to interfere, fearing that would make Pinky angry and they never wanted their daughter to be angry while they are attending a birthday party.

‘What’s your name?” Pinky asked.

The boy smiled and did not answer. His right hand still stretched out in the expectation of a coin.

Pinky gave a five-rupee coin to him and told him that a boy had already cleaned the window few minutes ago and he need not clean it now. The boy pocketed the coin with a real-thank-you-smile and washed off few droplets of water which were left on the glass when he left the cleaning in the middle.

‘What’s your name?’ Pinky shouted.

The boy turned back, smiled, and then left.

During all this, Tommy, their pet dog, comfortably slept as the car had AC.

After a couple of minutes the vehicles started to move slowly and Arun started his car wishing to see no more traffic jams and no more window-cleaning while he asked Pinky to close the window.

***

I am sure most of us must have seen kids cleaning car windows at traffic signals in Indian cities. I am not sure whether to give a coin to them or not. I am sure giving a ten rupee note wouldn’t really bother many of us. But isn’t that encouraging a bad thing? If I give them money, is it right or wrong? Right in a way and wrong in another way. But I feel very embarrassed when those boys tap on the window and stretch their hands. Is it their mistake for what they are now? Whom to blame?

I am sure, this post leaves with more questions than answers. My intention was not to portray a cynic’s view of India. There are enough books already which project India from a cynic’s eye.

I hope you liked reading this post and would be great to hear your thoughts.

Thank you very much for reading!

He looks at his job and realizes what he is doing is not anywhere close to what he had thought when he was in the college studying Mechanical Engineering. But, the money in a software job lured him or rather lured his family. Thus, he joined the rat race which he started to hate now.

He started to realize that people are selfish. The friends he thought who are so close to him are actually not that close in reality and he started to miss his school days and college days. He could not understand why people at workplace are so selfish to win the rat race. He hates office politics.

Paradoxically, he feels secured and in-secured at the same time. The job seems to be secure, but now and then he thinks it is not that secure in reality. The global economic crisis added fuel to his thoughts.

He looks at other people who are doing better than him, mostly financially, and thinks why he is not doing well. He thinks it’s luck rather than his skills which matter. He never envies though.

When he was in college, life looked so beautiful with full of promises. But, like many others, he realizes that the reality is far away from the dream world.

Confusion prevails and clarity seems to elude. Is this what I want from my life? Going to a day job for the rest of my life. The same boring social interactions. Same everyday thoughts about financial security. Checking the share prices every morning. Maintaining the finances, loans, and EMIs. Occasional boozing on weekends at a teammate’s birthday party.

How to do something different from going to a day job? Should I think about getting an MBA from IIMs? Should I try some business ideas? Should I prepare for Civil Services Exams which I liked when I was in school? Should I shift my job into some other field than software? Should I marry now and get a taste of family-life? Whom should I marry? How to propose that girl? Should I pursue my hobby of playing guitar seriously? Should I run away and live a life that is completely new? What’s my identity?

What are my long term goals in life if there are any? Am I really bored and confused or is it a product of over-thinking? Why can’t I be like other people? Wait, are the other people thinking the same way as me?

I know I want to do something but how to find that something? Monday comes, weekend comes and one more Monday and one more weekend. Monotonous life. Let’s do something.

‘Enough’, he said to himself, and logged onto Gtalk to catch up with his friends.

‘Hey dude how are ya?’

‘I am fine, how ya, u coming for the party this weekend?’

‘Hmm.. yes.’

….

And life goes on as they say.

***

I am a 20something now and most of my friends are 20somethings. Though I have few good 40something friends.

Software engineer is only an example I have taken. No matter the job, this kind of confusion is common in young adults venturing into real world after college.

We (friends from my engineering college) meet once in a couple of months or so and have fun together. When we guys talk about life in general, the common thing we hear is:

life seems to be boring guys… I want to do something, you know man… something…

We discuss and debate the revolutionary ideas over a party on a weekend or over a phone call and leave those revolutions to their fate. And the next party and the next party. Few of my friends are happily married now and they have a new revolution to tackle at home (guys just kidding, don’t take it literally!)

I realized recently that there is a term to describe what the young adolescents go through when they enter the real world after graduation/college. It is called Quarter-life Crisis. You can visit the Wikipedia link to know more about it.

For me, the term ‘crisis‘ is a bit overwhelming and I guess a more suitable word would be ‘confusion‘ which has little negativity attached

Most of us seem to say ‘I am fine..’, but when you scratch the surface a little bit, the stories come out: you know I think…  you know I should do this or that… and so on…

May be, not all of us would agree, and many may dismiss this crisis/confusion as trite and a product of too much thinking and lacking a realistic view of the world. Nonetheless, the confusion exists. It is whether we acknowledge it or not is the question.

These kind of thoughts and emotions can come at any point in our life. But, the unique challenges that we face when we are 20somethings make the situation more complex to tackle. The decisions we make are incredibly important at this age and most of them are impossibly irreversible.

I am not trying to generalize here that every-20-something will go through this phase and experience these emotions. But majority of my friends at least have this confusion to some extent.

How to overcome the confusion is uniquely and highly personal. One may leave job and experiment with life, one may find time to pursue his hobbies, the other may accept the reality and try to find happiness in seemingly boring life and so on.

Anyways, life without challenges and confusions is obviously more boring than life with challenges and confusion. We make choices, we make mistakes, but we grow stronger with every challenge we face and every mistake we make.

I tried my best not to vent my feelings here. If you are a 20-something and relate to what I have written here, I would be happy to hear from you. Please use the comments section to share your thoughts.

Confusion is better than illusion!