Whose mistake?

Article type: Writing exercise. Fiction. Short story.
Average Reading time: 8 to 10 minutes
Disclaimer: It’s not my story and for sure  none of my friends’ stories.  Pure nonsense from a crazy and lazy mind.

This is an attempt to see if I can still write something worthwhile. I haven’t been writing from a long time;  updating this blog seems to be a dream now. I am writing something after a very long time and I hope you don’t regret the time you spend reading this article. I will be more than happy to see your feedback and comments.

***

Whose mistake?

I am a mistake. Yes Sir, you read it correctly. I said, ‘I am a mistake.’  I hear what you are saying. People can make mistakes but how can one be a mistake itself? Not everyone Sir. There are people like me who are mistakes. Mistakes made by others. We have no way to find out who made those mistakes. But yes, we know we are pure mistakes.

Sometimes I wonder why am I here and I have tried to avoid those thoughts when I can. But life has its own ways to remind you of the things which bother you most. You want to forget them but life never lets you forget.

I am 27 now,  Sir. Perfect bachelor for any girl. Except I don’t have parents and I don’t know what my caste is. In India, everyone carries their caste on their shoulders. But yes, unconsciously. Slightest push and the caste monster comes into consciousness. You relate well to people from your caste. You vote for people from your caste. And of course you marry people only from your caste. But, I have no clue what my caste is; because I have no clue who are my parents. I have never seen them. But I am sure they must be somewhere if they are alive. And I am also sure that even if they are alive I can’t find them.

I am a by-product. By-product of two people’s lust. Wait, I am not sure about it because I have no clue about it. May be they were married, but they died and I was left to myself. But if it was lust and I was an accident, why did my mother decide not to stop it when she knew she was carrying me. Was she something else? All questions and assumptions, but no answers. In fact, I no more obsessively think about all these things as I used to a few years ago. I have no clue when or where she left me. I will never know it. I no more want to know it. Of course, I do long to see her sometimes. Whoever she was, where ever she is, I am thankful to her. It’s a weird feeling, so difficult to put into words. You are here, but not sure why. Not so easy. But I am thankful to her because she gave me this life.

Let me give you some background about my upbringing. I might look very rich now – thanks to the globalization and outsourcing –  but my childhood was deprived of many things in life which you took for granted. By the time I learned that children have parents, I also learned that I had no parents. How can I forget those school-day functions when everyone came with their parents? How can I forget the regular words from my friends saying their father bought this, their mother cooked that, their sister got married. How can I forget those days I spent in the hostel and longing to go to a house which wasn’t existing. How can I forget those holidays when most of my schoolmates went to their homes and I spent the entire summer in the hostel, alone except for the hostel warden. He was in his seventies I guess, I used to call him grandpa. It is a long story, Sir. I do not want to bother you with a typical Bollywood style story. I am sure you can  create the rest of the story now.

But yes, I learned to live and love myself and my friends. By the time I joined college, the thought that I had no parents never bothered me except when I went to my friends’ houses. Except when I attended friends’ siblings’ weddings. And more annoyingly, whenever I filled an application which had father’s name to be filled. But I learned to live all by myself and for myself. I have many best friends who love me and like me for what I am.

It is not so easy, Sir. You can’t even imagine a life like that.

Love never happened to me. There were regular infatuations but let me be shameless for a moment and tell you that they were more to do with my hormones than anything else. May be, by the way I grew up, I never thought about falling in love seriously. It never happened. I thought it would never happen. But I was terribly wrong.

My life changed when I met her. When I talked to her for the first time, I felt like I  knew her from years. I do not believe in those romantic soul-mate philosophies and re-incarnation stories. What else can you expect from a person who has no clue about the present life? Let alone past lives and soul-mating. For me, life has no more meaning than it is for a rock. I am not an atheist though. But I go to every holy place. Yes Sir, I am not even sure what my religion is. I pray, but not sure to which God.

But Sir, she changed my life. People may misunderstand me here. But friends are always friends. They are there with us. But I had to realize that a girl whom you love is totally different. With whom you want to share the rest of your life. About whom you feel a certain ownership. Yes Sir, ownership. It might sound weird, but I am sure you understood me.

I loved her and she loved me. What else can bring me happiness? When she accepted my proposal, for the first time in my life, I thought I was not alone anymore. In fact, for the first time in my life, the unknown emptiness vanished. May be I am getting little literary here because of my endless obsession with books. How can emptiness vanish? It may be that, that emptiness was filled and I no more felt that unknown emptiness. We loved each other. But then, I never thought about marriage seriously then.  I was 24 and fresh into the job which paid me well enough to buy a car within a couple of months. I had enough money and my own money for the first time in my life. That was ultimate freedom for me. Living all by myself for myself and of course, for this girl whom I din’t know a couple of months ago.

How quickly life can change. I never thought I would fall in love but I did. And then everything else changed. Everything looked so beautiful.

For the first time in my life, life was interesting. I never hated life though, because you won’t get this same life second time again. If I regret this life, then there is no more meaning in being alive. I do hate life sometimes, but only for few fleeting moments. Then everything will be fine after that. In the end, I am human and I am not a saint.

I was doing great at job and with this girl in my life I was always happy. When she accepted my proposal she never knew about my background. But then I din’t want to hide. I told her soon after she accepted and she was shocked, but from then she never talked about it. Not even once. She loved me and I loved her, that’s what mattered to us.

But how quickly life can change. She started getting marriage proposals at home and one day she had to tell about me at home.

When she told, the first question was, “what’s the boy’s caste?” She said she doesn’t know. Then the next question. “Who are boy’s parents?” She said I have no parents.

That’s it, she knew it was not going to work out. She knew it will never work out. We actually never thought about marriage until then. We knew that it will be a problem but we never discussed with each other.

She told me over the phone that it is not going to happen. Then we discussed a lot about eloping but I wasn’t interested. Then one fine day she called me and told me that she will be engaged in two weeks. She was forced to marry someone from her relatives. The boy is well settled in the US. But Sir, she doesn’t love that boy. She loves me.

But Sir, I am that boy whom your daughter loves. I am writing this letter not to convince you. But to tell you we haven’t done anything wrong. We just fell in love.

But let me tell you, excuse me for the harsh words, but I can’t help it. After ten years, when you are in a bed and counting your days – I am very sorry to say this, but you know everyone dies – you will definitely regret your decision. You din’t let your daughter marry the boy she loved. You made her sleep with someone else when she loved someone else. She will adjust. And may be she will be happy. But you never know. She can never be happy and she will act as if she is happy. You will regret, trust me you will regret. You will not get this life second time again. After a hundred years, how would it matter if your daughter marries me or someone else? It wouldn’t, trust me it wouldn’t. Everyone on this planet will be dead by that time. All that matters is whether your daughter is happy now or not. If you want her to marry the boy you chose, it’s your wish, I will not trouble you anymore. But, we haven’t done any mistake, we just fell in love.

And Sir, after all, she loved a human being, I am not an alien. I just have no parents, but I am sure they were human.

Thank you.

***

Thank you for reading. In a way this post looks to be very similar to my previous post. I couldn’t help it. I wrote the beginning a few months ago. Finally finished it and published it now.

I hope you liked it. I hope you haven’t left in the middle. Please share your thoughts and feedback using the comments form. Thank you for spending ten minutes of your valuable time for reading this post.

Please ‘Like’ it if you like it :)

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14 Comments

  1. Posted August 3, 2011 at 8:03 pm | Permalink

    i liked it… but the size of the post is a barrier.. my suggestion would be to either keep it small or break it into parts. generally we love readong short stories but in a blog i have noticed people dislike big blogs so a gr8 article is missed.. break it into parts and give links to all parts .. i do that mostly

    • Posted August 4, 2011 at 8:45 pm | Permalink

      Thanks for reading man. Let me see if I can break down the posts into pages. But I think it will break the flow.

  2. phani
    Posted August 3, 2011 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    gud bro… but a lil filmy ;) and i like every thin dats filmy :D

  3. supriya
    Posted August 4, 2011 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Well explained but lacks expression ..
    You can be more expressive [as i read your earlier blogs too .. ]

    • Posted August 4, 2011 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

      Wrote something after a very long time. So the lack of expression, may be. Thank you for reading. Let me see how the next article comes out.

  4. Praveen
    Posted August 4, 2011 at 10:09 am | Permalink

    Looks regular story, but narrated very well !! Do wish the second half of story is not urs.. :)

  5. Vishal
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 8:51 am | Permalink

    A really grt story…though a common one…..
    But I particularly liked a few lines…..
    After a hundred years, how would it matter if your daughter marries me or someone else?
    Great line at this point of time in the story.
    If I regret this life, then there is no more meaning in being alive.
    Point to ponder……
    But life has its own ways to remind you of the things which bother you most.
    I think only u can write those words….
    By the time I learned that children have parents, I also learned that I had no parents.
    Connecting both of them is really good….

    And most importantly…when we first start reading we donot know who this Sir is and wonder why he is adressing that person as Sir. But when it is revealed that he is talking to his fa-in-law, it all comes in…..
    I liked this very much. Instead of telling it explicitly, you have chosen to present it thru a letter…..

    This comment might be longer than the post itself…but this is my way of saying that i liked the post so much….not for the story but for the expressions etc….

    Finally, I sincerely hope it is NOT UR STORY :) :)

  6. Gokul
    Posted August 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Hey Chandra…nice narration…I loved it….I hope its not your story…..lol…:)
    I loved many of the lines out of which thisis best lol…
    “You din’t let your daughter marry the boy she loved. You made her sleep with someone else when she loved someone else.”

    Waiting for your next update….

  7. Posted September 9, 2011 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    nice one!
    liked the last sentence
    And Sir, after all, she loved a human being, I am not an alien. I just have no parents, but I am sure they were human.

    the way of narration seems novel.

  8. shareef
    Posted November 5, 2011 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    it’s really touched…

  9. Shiva charan
    Posted January 19, 2012 at 11:15 am | Permalink

    This is really great chandu…
    Haven’t read read good blogs as this in recent times.
    Appreciate the thought process involved behind this.
    May be you need to put some good words further to keept it lively and yeah expression improvement is suggested.

    Overall a good blog to read and nice topic.

    all the best…

  10. Abhishek Maurya
    Posted April 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    superb!!!!!

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